Today is the day that I say “calf rope,” as we used to say in my family when my brothers or I were pinned to the floor by our opponent in a wrestling match. I assume this expression comes from the rodeo when a calf roper is done with the roping and jumps up to signal to the judges that he (and, yes, when I was growing up, it was a “he”) is finished. Anyway, I say “calf rope” today to signal that I am officially done with all the moving and rearranging we’ve been doing over these past weeks since we arrived in Texas. There is still more that could be done, but my body/spirit/mind has hit the wall and said, “Stop now.”
I didn’t know that I would get to this moment. I suppose I’ve wondered if I’d just go on working endlessly day after day if there were no external cause to stop me. But, alas, there is an internal mechanism that went into effect today that just hit the stop button. I’m not saying that I am forever done with working here on this stuff; I’m simply saying that for this trip, this time, I am done. That’s handy since tomorrow I have out-of-town guests arriving for the weekend and my work is over anyway. Well, I am willing tomorrow morning to do last minute cleaning and tidying, but that’s different than these massive projects (rearranging the building, clearing the Dimmitt house kitchen, and reorganizing the barn) which have required the lifting and moving of heavy objects from early morning until its been too hot in the day to work.
Still, I don’t want to suggest that this has been grueling or cruel and unusual in any way. The truth is that I’ve felt better and stronger and healthier and more mentally clear than I have in a long time. I would even go as far as to suggest that every one of us sedentary Americans could use a three-week period during some part of every year when we stop watching television (yes, I have done this), stop staring endlessly at our computers (yes, I have stared considerably less than usual) and instead get up early, go tackle some longstanding project that you’ve purposely avoided because it is dirty, difficult, and requires facing your inclination to packrat possessions away, and just work away for hours until you can hardly put one foot in front of the other. Oh, and if you can do it in the summer in 95+ heat so you can sweat a lot that’s even better. The possibility for clearing out both mental and physical toxins is immense and potentially life enhancing.
So, I am very happy with the work that has been accomplished and I am also relieved that this stint of work is drawing to an end. I can look forward to visiting with family and friends this weekend, then head back to LA on Monday night. We will be driving back, which gives both Ray and me a chance to decompress from our time here and prepare for our shift back to city life. I have an online class that starts on Monday and will meet with summer students later in the week. Life shifts to a different state – mentally, physically and geographically. I believe I’ll be in better shape than when I left to come here. I feel calmer and more relaxed and less harried. This is all good.
I plan to head to bed very early tonight since I’m getting up at 5:30 tomorrow morning to beat the heat. We still have last minute details to attend to before company arrives. I feel sure I’ll be refreshed after a good night’s sleep and ready and willing to make that last big push.
I have to also say that I’m glad to discover that I do have a “tilt” button. I can trust my body and my mind to let me know when enough is enough. Just as I yelled, “Calf rope!” when one of my brothers was grabbing me too hard when I was a kid, I have that same mechanism that kicks in automatically when I ‘m done with a pace that has moved from satisfying to exhausting. It’s always nice to re-discover that we, as humans, intuitively know how to take care of ourselves.
So, now I am off to bed at 8:06 at night and I can’t wait to feel the cool of those sheets on my skin. Just as hunger is the best cook, hard work is the best sedative.
Until tomorrow, my friends.
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