I recently saw an article that said that Facebook causes people to feel less content because they tend to compare their lives to others. Along that same vein, I was helping a student tonight work on a paper based on a book whose premise is that Americans have shifted from family-centered to society-centered primarily through media, and this has caused a deep-seated sense of discontent. The author believes that media has caused people to now long for the life of the celebrity, thus making them less content with being part of the “herd.” Both the Facebook article and my student’s textbook suggest that through media we are constantly comparing ourselves to others and then feeling dismayed when we come up short. I am not sure what I think about this. Let me explore it a bit…
I don’t feel particularly unhappy related to Facebook. I look at other people’s lives and see for the most part that they mirror mine. They are focused on family, friends, a few hobbies and periodic concern for a particularly glaring social injustice. They also seem to find pleasure in many of the same small, but meaningful aspects of life that I do and I find this heartening. This validates that we are all cut from the same cloth no matter who or where we are, and life is not that different unless you move to extremes on the socio-economic (or psychiatric) scale. This makes me feel better, not worse.
Television, however, can create some sense of discontent, at least for me. Not all the time, but certainly related to a few specific shows. For example, seeing people move to the lowest common denominator on scream-fest tv such as “The Jerry Springer Show” (which someone told me is still on) makes me feel depressed. Seeing human suffering sensationalized does not evoke positive feelings. I wish we would move beyond this type of programming. On the other end of the spectrum, I must say that seeing a fine television drama like “The Newsroom” can also bring a bit of lament. Watching these professionals doing an important job while having such camaraderie can make me feel a little envious. Ah, what would it be like to work with that many interesting, passionate, smart people? Wouldn’t that be great?
Ah, there’s the point the writer of the book my student was reading was so emphatically making. That desire to be more than just one of the “herd,” A wish to be part of something better, more interesting, more well-paid, more respected. Who cares that this is not real life, but rather a television show? Who cares that if one were to be part of that world, there would be more hours spent working than any other activity because realistically those kinds of jobs require an inordinate amount of time spent doing them. Ah, but who is thinking of those down-to-earth and realistic concerns?
Most television I find to be just fine. I enjoy seeing “Project Runway,” where real people make beautiful clothes in strained circumstances or “True Blood,” where vampires and fairies have their good days and bad. I love “CBS Sunday Morning” and cooking shows and DIY shows. I especially like “The Antiques Roadshow,” where regular people discover that Grandma has left them an extraordinary painting or vase. That type of television make me feel better not worse.
So, it is possible to make a blanket statement these days on media and its negative influence on self-esteem? Perhaps not since there are now so many different kinds of media.
On the other hand, spending time unplugged can be quite restorative. I am a firm proponent for periods of disconnection. There’s something cleansing about not watching any television or engaging in any social media every once in a while. One can take a good long breath and look up at the trees or the stars or maybe at a good novel. Nothing wrong with that.
Still, I believe our plugged-in state is here to stay. That said, we need to figure out how to avoid aspects of this technological age that breed discontent. Each of us has to decide what those particular disheartening areas are for ourselves and hit the off button when it comes to them.
After all, we don’t need our access to media pulling us down. We have enough reality that revels in that job.
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