Hi folks, Sorry for my silence. The flu caught hold of me and has kept me down with chills, a fever, a cough and periodic nausea. I am definitely on the mend. I even saw one student today for two hours and cooked some lunch. At this point, it was clear that I had overstepped my boundary in terms of my recovery. I immediately headed back to bed and have been there since mid-afternoon. I am even missing a birthday celebration for me with our friend, David Bode, tonight because I just didn’t feel well enough to go. Alas, Ray and David are no doubt enjoying their time together and I am perfectly happy here in bed, doing nothing. I expect we’ll have a re-visit on that birthday celebration.
I am still processing all the information about Michelle Sandoval. I still don’t know what I think about the situation. Should I be pushing more? Should I accept this as done? Am I copping out at the very moment that I might prove helpful if I were just brave, smart or bold enough to push further? Where would I push? To what end? Where is the line between being helpful and pushy? Being concerned versus a busybody? And, when, by the way, do I fit in this ongoing crusade to save a girl who is asking her mother to stop calling her a missing person?
But still, if this were my fifteen-year-old (sixteen in early February, by the way), then what would I do? I’d like to think I’d be down there with a small army getting her out. Bringing her home and throwing her into house prison until she could get her good sense back. Inform her that her bad choices have now resulted in constant parent monitoring until she could gain back our trust. Get that man who took her hauled up to jail and charged with whatever charges seem suitable to make sure that he would not be doing this to other girls and families.
But, I am not illegal here. I don’t have another child who only knows the U.S. as his home. I have more education, resources and support. I also don’t know if my approach would work. Maybe my child would sneak out at the first opportunity and reconnect with her “boyfriend.” At some point, there is the reality that parents have limited control over their children. In our household, we were clear about rules and guidelines. Our kids would have been terrified to face their father and me if they had done this. Maybe that is part of Michelle’s motivation to head straight for Guatemala. Her aunt did say that she was scared what her parents were going to say and do once she had to face them. For good reason…since Michelle clearly had a major lapse in judgement to call that man to pick her up from school on December 19th.
Also, I am one of those people who has to be careful not to climb on the white horse and head out as the rescuer. This has gotten me in trouble countless times when the “victim” isn’t particularly happy that I have stuck my nose in their personal business. I understand that I am limited in my power. I’ve been to Alanon. I know the line: “You Didn’t Cause It, You Can’t Control It, You Can’t Cure It.” This may be the case with this as well. I hate to dissolve into aphorisms, but some of them have helped me through some tough times in my life. Those are the AA standards, “One day at a time,” “Easy does it,” and the Serenity Prayer, which seems especially appropriate in this situation.
Thank you, everyone, for your support with this. What a fine community of people surrounds me. I am going to turn this over to a Power greater than myself and accept that’s okay. I hope you will put Michelle and her family in your prayers. I am going to do the same. We will see what happens next.
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