I am sitting here at my glass table in the living room. It is 9:12 pm and I have been responding to my online students’ reading comments for one class and editing a chapter of another student’s novel. Today, I wrote a proposal for another class for Story Circle Network – Healing Through Writing – and submitted it for consideration for a mid-summer class. Also, the mother of two of my former students emailed me in response to my letter yesterday requesting referral help. She told me that she had recommended me to many of her friends and included in her email to me a wonderful introduction she had written that started with the words, “Get ready, I’m going to gush.” This was followed by a long paragraph about how important I had been to both of her daughters when they came to me for writing help. I must confess her words brought tears to my eyes. She called me a little while later and asked if I’d be interested in presenting a series of one-hour summer workshops for a group of parents in the Beverly Hills school district. “Of course,” was my answer, “I’d be delighted to do that.” A little while later, I discovered at least a dozen emails from other parents assuring me that they would recommend me to any friends in search of a writing coach. A mother of another of my former students wrote, “As you know, we think the world of you. We’ll be happy to recommend you.” Ah, how lovely.
I am struck with how hard it is for me to ask for help sometimes. Writing that letter yesterday was something I pushed myself to do. How can I complain about not having a full roster of students, after all, if I haven’t let people know that I am open to new students? Still, in all of my fourteen years of working privately with students, this is the first time that I have had to request help in filling my time slots. The economy is part of the problem; my lack of public presence in the school district is another aspect since I stopped coordinating the parenting workshops for the district. A third is that I cost a little more than a regular tutor and I require students to come to my home rather than going to theirs. I am not a college student picking up extra money while I finish a degree. Instead, I develop stable and long-term relationships with kids and adults who want to improve their writing skills. This usually takes a while to accomplish. Plus, my goal is to create a safe learning environment so people will take risks in their writing. I like to think that I create a therapeutic atmosphere so that people can grow. That is my goal.
So, I must remember that there is no shame in asking for help. I am not particularly good at that. I am one of those “I can do it myself” sorts of people with a heavy dose of “I don’t want to trouble someone else with my concerns.” That is the Southerner in me. I grew up being taught that people have enough troubles in their own lives without adding yours to it. So, imagine my surprise today when I received that phone call and those emails of support. That was lovely.
The gist: I am feeling grateful tonight. Thank you, my friends, for your positive response. Life is good.
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