This has been a hard week. My beloved sister-in-law died on Tuesday and that was good in that she was no longer suffering, but bad from the point of view that I was fifteen hundred miles away when I wanted to be by her bedside. I talked to her the day before she died and said what I needed to say, but it wasn’t the same as sitting next to her, holding her hand. So, that was a disappointment. Strike one for this damn recession. In the past, I would have jumped on a plane and simply been there, but now, we’re counting pennies and that sort of action wasn’t quite in the cards. Though, I must say that my husband would have said, “Go!” Alas, the ole kick- yourself-in-the-butt-after-the-fact sort of thing. I should have simply acted, but I second-guessed myself. So, there’s reason number one why this week sucked.
Second, once my sister-in-law died, there were my sweet nieces, my brother, his ex-wife, and a sprinkling of other friends and relatives all there and where was I? Here. Let’s call that strike two for this damn recession. Because instead of now hopping on the plane to dash off to be with my family, I soon learned that the memorial service would not be this weekend but next, so I would lose a week and a half of work if I decided to go to Texas immediately. When you have an independent business with students with term papers due in two weeks, well, that isn’t exactly the best way to build trust among your clientele. On top of that, my daughter, Rachael, was counting on me to help with her term paper and since this was the first one since she transferred to UCLA’s English department and the paper’s topic was extremely difficult, leaving her would have been construed as absolute abandonment. Alas, I elected to stay here and do my duty = work.
So, I have been up literally at 4 am working with Rachael for three mornings in a row, and, thank God, that paper is now safely in the hands of her professor. A damn fine paper, I might add, as evidenced by an A- on the rough draft, which sent Rachael and me into a spasm of high-fiving. So, that was good. Yes, it was. And two of my high school boys arrived 2 weeks in advance of their term papers’ deadlines, so that is also good. Last time we were burning the midnight oil up until the last minute. I am happy they have learned a thing or two…after a word or two from me, of course. Then I have middle school kids who have the best middle school English teacher around, who is extremely demanding and now all of their book reports are coming due. So, alas, I have a slew of those kids coming in and working for 2 – 3 hours at a time. So, that’s good, too, though I must admit I’ve been a little tired…
So, now it’s Friday and I have two days off before Sunday afternoon when I’m booked for 6 hours with students. This is all good, of course, since my business seems to be humming now. This is after it went to HALF last year because of that beloved recession. So, I am happy about this influx of money. I am beyond happy. I am relieved with this influx of money. Also, I am pleased to have the chance to increase my expertise in this term paper/essay/book report area since I lean more toward fiction writing.
So, I guess the gist is that it’s tough being so far from home when death is part of the picture. We are in Texas routinely so usually it’s not hard to be here in California rather than there. In fact, I love here so it’s not hard at all. Just this week.
Next week, we’ll all head for Sandra’s memorial service and I will see family and friends and we’ll celebrate her life. That will be wonderful since she has many people who love her. I expect this will be a joyous gathering.
I am hoping next week is a bit easier for me in terms of my writing. This week has been tough – pulling teeth on several days – just to honor my 20 Minutes a Day commitment. Granted, this has been an unusual week.
I am aware that the end of Sandra’s suffering brings me great relief. I hadn’t realized just how much I had been worrying about her until now when there is no worry. My only real desire now is to hold my nieces tight. Alas, next week, I’ll be able to do that, and then I can breathe deeply again.
The recession will still be here, but other than that, God willing, all else will be right in my world.
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