Today, Ray got the word from his doctor that the lump on his neck was noncancerous. He will be going in for an ultrasound of his thyroid, but the fears we had about malignancy have evaporated like a fine mist once the sun comes up.
I don’t really have words to describe the level of relief I feel right now. The discovery of that lump felt reminiscent to a time when I was rock climbing with some friends, lost my footing on the wall of a wide crevice and fell backward. I had a moment of recognition that this was it, my life would be different from this moment forward and might, in fact, mean death. Then my backpack caught on a single outcropping that protruded from the opposing rock wall behind me and I stopped. I was leaning back so far that I couldn’t right myself on my own, my friends had to pull me back to safety. That is how today felt when that doctor reached out a hand and pulled our lives back into safety with his words. Not promising future safety, of course, but at this moment on this day at this time, we have moved from our lives changing forever to our lives moving back into their normal rhythm.
However, we are now changed. Nothing like a little terror and helplessness to aid clarity of vision. I think we both now know how irreplaceable our relationship is, how much our children love us, and how wonderful it is to have so many caring family and friends in our lives. The bottom line: we are grateful that we have more life to spend together until the day that we don’t. That day will come. Just not today.
Thank you so much for your kind thoughts and friendship. We both deeply appreciate it.
The other good news of the day is that I actually found a dress for Liz’s wedding. A true miracle. (Thank you, God.)
And on that note, I’ll say good-night. I’ve already had a two-hour nap out of sheer relief, but I believe I’ll sleep well tonight.
I’ll be checking back in with you again tomorrow.
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