I am thinking of returning to the memoir/novel that I worked on for a hundred years and looking at it with fresh eyes. I have work-shopped much of this writing and have had lots of feedback in the past. I’ve written and rewritten and gone from surface issues to much deeper ones. But I made a decision that I think in retrospect was a faulty one when I was writing what I thought was the final draft. I fictionalized the ending of the story of my dying brother, Jim, and I think in doing so I lost the truth that I was seeking to communicate there at the end. My thought is that I might take the full memoir I wrote and the full novel and see where I might stitch together the parts that tell the story that was so important to me to tell. I would need to cut out parts, as well, but that’s okay. I am not married to this material like I once was. Like I said, perhaps I could see it with fresh eyes.
One of the toughest parts of being a writer is working in this gray zone where you have nothing specific to point to as illustrating your accomplishments. Yes, of course, those lucky folks who manage to publish their first, second or third novels can point to them and say, “See, I did that.” So far, in my class of 12 people in John Rechy’s Master Class, 3 of the 12 have published novels that I helped critique. Another is right on the cusp of being published. And then there’s mine, which I abandoned after that last draft, calling it done, or me done with it, too worn out to spend another second on that story that had consumed almost 10 years of my life. And yet, of the people who had their novels published, they all have gone on to work and rework those books over and over until they finally got them right. I, however, pooped out and yelled, “No more.”
Alas, maybe it’s time to get back on the horse and move ahead. Maybe I needed that time off to get my psyche back into shape so I could continue the journey, or else get my daughters grown so I would not be pulled in some many directions. Whatever the case, I intend to look at this work again from an editor’s perspective – one I’ve honed over the past several years – and see just what is what.
I will keep you informed as I proceed. I am happy to think that I have the fortitude to begin again and just see where this journey takes me.
Over all, I know there are no guarantees in terms of publishing, but I do know that a manuscript in the bottom of a drawer will go nowhere fast.
Comments