I am looking at a pile of papers in stacks on the table around me. This is unusual because I tend to keep my workspace tidy –too much clutter usually makes me jittery – but I am forcing myself to take note of this paperwork that demands my attention. I have bills to pay, calls to insurance companies to make, a fall teaching schedule to arrange, a Story Circle Network conference proposal to write, old bills, bank statements and receipts to file, and new chapters to edit, and more I’m either purposely not boring you with or else can’t remember. The gist is that paperwork appears to be multiplying on this table surface and despite all good intentions on my part, I’m managing to avoid it as long as possible.
The crazy thing is that when I’m in the mood – a fleeting experience that comes perhaps once a week or so – I can get in here and knock this stuff out as if I am bulldozing down a Walmart. (Sorry to all you Wally World fans.) When I’m like that – focused and driven – then these piles will disappear straight away and I, for a brief time, can enjoy no piles at all either surrounding me or tucked away in a nearby drawer. Alas, that “paperwork mood” has not graced me with a visit over the past few days and as a result, the piles they are agrowin’.
I suppose that if the muse remains elusive into tomorrow afternoon, then I’ll just have to hunker down and plow through these papers at whatever pace I can strike. Dragging and complaining is better at some point then just not doing. After all, there is a point when the utility companies come looking for you if your bills run too late. So, with or without the mood, I suppose I’ll just have to get myself focused and ready for a sit-down.
But, not tonight. I know better than to tackle paperwork when I’m tired. I’ll be paying bills from the wrong bank account, or forget to record a particularly large transaction. That would be counterproductive.
So, on that note, I think I’ll retire for the evening.
I hear the television on upstairs…I might go crawl into bed next to Ray and see what he’s watching.
After all, the paperwork will be here tomorrow. Unfortunately, I won’t be. I have the homeless breakfast in the early morning, then stewardship training at the church in the early afternoon. So, late afternoon tomorrow is when I’m hoping the paperwork muse will come avisitin’.
If you hear teeth-grinding sometime around 4 tomorrow, then you’ll know my muse stood me up and I’m having to tough it out all alone. Until then, I guess I’ll just have to keep my fingers crossed.
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